OK, now I’ve been dieting for just over 3 months I want to let you all know as I feel it’s the right time, the exact weight I started at on the 28th of February 2014. I’m embarrassed to tell you this but I’ve got to accept where I’ve come from to appreciate where I’m going. I also want to catalogue it so that in a couple of years time when I’ve reached my goal I can talk about it with pride that I’ll have come so far in a such a short amount of time (2 years is quite a short amount of time when you’re in your 40s, not so much in your 20s).
I’m scared to say if I’m honest as it’s not a usual amount to be overweight by. It’s an immense amount to be overweight by and I’m disgusted that I got to be this big in the first place but circumstances added to depression and anxiety put me here as well as the wrong medication as I was growing up which seemed to have started it all.
No, I’m not going to make excuses that it was “thyroid issues” or “I don’t know why” but I do. Plain and simple. I ate too much of the wrong food and didn’t exercise and it’s that which put me there. When I was younger I kept myself fit, really fit. Danced and exercised 5 times a week and walked everywhere but as I got older I just stopped. Stopped, ate and then moaned about being fat. But it was all my own fault. I was offered gastric bypass surgery a few years back on the NHS and agreed – thankfully they refused me because it made me wake up and smell the coffee (albeit now just black and no sugar). Before I woke up though I looked into having the bypass surgery privately. But a couple of days researching and actually talking to people online that had the surgery changed my mind totally. Not because of the surgery itself but just because how obsessed people that had the surgery had become with everything.
I came across a forum. I won’t name the forum because I don’t want to give it any publicity but I came across a forum where those going to get a bypass, those who had just had the bypass and those who were years celebrating their bypass talked to each other. I tried to integrate into it but – and I’m not saying this about every bariatric surgery patient – but they were seriously stuck up their own bums with their own importance. You had “guru” bypass slimmers, and those who followed their footsteps and hung on their every word to those who revelled in the fact they could have it on the NHS and then sit on their bums doing nothing all day but still eat chips as they “wouldn’t be able to cram as many in but still eat them.” Oh come on!
Firstly, if you’ve had gastric bypass surgery all the hard work has been done for you already. You’ve had your willpower thrown out of the window and resorted to being mutilated just so you don’t eat as much food as before. You’re given a diet sheet which tells you for a few weeks you have to just eat pureed food, then slowly start introducing your body to more solid food. You can never drink fizzy drinks any more and basically for the rest of your life, you can only eat like a pigeon. Why do you put yourself through that? Yeah you can still eat a mars bar if you mash it to a pulp or take the tiniest bit off it and eat it but you have no choice to stop eating it simply because you can’t fit it into your pouch anymore. Doesn’t really stop the longing for one – just takes longer to eat it – if you wanted. You then have to take multiple vitamins and minerals each and every day making sure that you don’t take too many or too little, counting every little bit of protein to make sure that you don’t become malnourished. It then takes up to 2 years for you to reach your goal but the rapid weight loss happens in the first year which then puts you at risk of gallstones. What is the point? Oh yeah, the perfect figure. No, really what is the point. Why not just suck it up, eat healthily, exercise more and see the results while still indulging in the odd naughty pud or can of forbidden diet coke? If it stops me being a complete a**hole to other people then I think I’ll take the normal route please. Willpower. Good old fashioned willpower.
When I was 19 I was chubby and my doctor said to my Mum “Mrs Allum, stop worrying Jackie will lose this weight when she’s ready” – back in the good old 1990s we never had bypasses and bands, we had slimming clubs or getting your jaws wired up as the alternative to lose weight. Many people (including my amazing Mum and her cousins daughter) lost weight naturally, I don’t mean the odd pound, I mean stones, 10-20 stones lost naturally. They didn’t need intervention or to be mutilated to do it. They went to a slimming club, got support from the club, their partners and friends and lost weight. Damn sure that makes them better people than half the obnoxious bypassed slimmers I had the misfortune to speak to online as they had the willpower to do it themselves. They put themselves back on the straight and narrow rather than being forced to do it.
And that’s where I am today. Gone from my head is the idea of being mutilated (with the bonus of “perhaps” losing my diabetes – only an 80% chance though apparently) and wasting the much needed NHS funds just to stop me stuffing that next cream cake in my gob and I’m doing it naturally. Although I see a few “old friends” (in the loosest sense of the word) gloating on Facebook that they’ve had the bypass which to be honest now makes me sick as I know they were lazy mares who wouldn’t put the fast food down and opted to waste more NHS money for an easier way out. I’ve ditched cakes, gammon steaks, chips and crisps for strawberries, blueberries, turkey slices and the odd (usually around 3 or 4 small) boiled potatoes. Gone are the huge piles of pasta with full fat laden sauces and in has come the cauliflower rice with weight watchers low fat, low calorie sauces, out went the beef for the leaner, meaner venison and I said goodbye to Ben and his mate Jerry and said hello to my friend the Cherry Jubbly and doing that has happened to give me over the past 3 and a half months – a 5 stone 2lb loss. 5 stone 2lb loss from 34 stone. There I said it. I was, ladies and gentleman a massive, 34 stone 1lb. Horrendous isn’t it. But I’m never, ever going there again. 10 stone 4lb is more my bag, thank you very much.
Happy sunny Sunday people,
PS: If you want to lose weight yourself, join MiniMins – it’s a fantastic forum with some very, very lovely, supportive people who are going through the same as you. They don’t judge you, just follow your journey and support you.
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